PENAT

I am going home pretty soon, since I don't know when is my viva, might as well I just go home.

So, basically I am pretty tired with packing and I am still doing corrections for my paper. Now I know how hard it is to publish a paper. Back and forth dengan supervisor pun maybe sampai 4-5 kali agaknya..sampai la dia puas hati. Of course dia nak yg terbaik..nama pun co-author kan, kena maintain reputation.

I am feeling nervous sangat tunggu viva ni. I have this unsure feeling about the quality of my thesis, although when my research associate read it, he said it was okay, hence, I suppose it is alright. I haven't flipped through my thesis for 3 weeks now..just scared to spot stupid mistakes. Hehehe..nanti la..once I get a viva date, I need to start revising again.

Hubby is feeling depress and I am trying my best to support him. He is tired of listening to the cliché phrases..sabar la..ada hikmah..you know that kind of phrases. So, normally I just tried to take his mind off whatever that is bothering him. If only I could turn back time..there is that one thing I wish I hadn't ask him to do...*sigh*..

2012

Happy New Year 2012!

I don't know why I feel so sad that 2011 had ended. Rasa syahdu sangat.

2012 will be a brand new challenge for me. InsyaAllah, I will start working back at the university, something that I kinda dreaded..hehehe..well, working I mean.

PhD journey was like a fantasy world to me. A torture fantasy..but a fantasy nevertheless. You just studied hard and get it done where you don't have to deal with office politics, rules and what not.

I have this idea in my head that after the 7-year-bond, I would want to do something else. A business maybe. I am thinking of taking sewing lessons. Hehehe..I love browsing through websites where people can produce handbags, beautiful dresses..*sigh*..I really want to know how to do that.

I watched the movie Shall We Dance? on BBC iplayer just now. I cried towards the end seeing the love between Susan Sarandon and Richard Gere. No need the cliché hugs and kisses..simple gestures by accepting and forgiving like that meant a lot. I was really crying. Moreover with this 'syahdu' feeling..lagi la emotional..

On another note, I am so looking forward to go home. I hope I can do so in another couple of weeks. In the mean time, I better enjoy my time here as much as I can despite not being able to spend it with Mr. PIC..

Viva? I didn't read my Thesis again for 2 weeks now..I am not ready to spot any mistakes yet. Hahaha..I know eventually I have to read it again and start to revise all the referred papers..hmm..worried of course. I forwarded an electronic version of my thesis to my internal examiner and he replied 'I am looking forward to reading this'..OMG..was he being sarcastic? hahaha..! I am scared of him actually. Intimidated I suppose.

What a way to start your new year. Sad and frightened at the same time. The common thing to say is 2012, bring it on..for me, today, from the bottom of my heart, I really wanted to say 2011, Don't Go.......